Side Note:

Also read Psalms 104 and 105 ... they added to my excitement about life

EXCITEMENT!!!

I really don't know why but this week I am excited. Maybe it's all the coffee I have consumed talking but I am so excited about life right now. Ya'll who are interns, we have been given a wicked awesome opportunity to raise money for this ministry and to have a crazy awesome time with college students for the next two years. Yeah we will be way lonely and want to die and will probably call our families daily and try to convince them to buy webcams once we actually move to our campuses but until then lets be excited! Haha, I seriously can't think of a better job to have. We get to talk about Jesus, read books, have fun with fellow interns, go to great conferences, learn a ton about God and His Word and ... we get paid... sort of... but yeah I just can't keep my excitement in right now and wanted to let ya'll know! haha I think I am giggling I am so excited. Well if you are excited too LET ME KNOW! and tell us why...

The Fruit of Amazing Grace

As the days pass by and I have more and more conversations with people about college ministry and how God has changed the direction of my life, I keep hearing this nagging voice in the back of my mind. It says, "You aren't worth these people's money. They would never give you this if they knew who you really were. I mean look at you ... you aren't even doing anything but running around and asking people to support you in a place they have never seen, helping students they have never met, and you are going to a CHRISTIAN COLLEGE for goodness sake! They don't need your help! What can you possibly offer them that they haven't already heard before!?".

As I hear this voice and listen to it, I feel like it has a point sometimes. It begins to get to me... it brings me down and takes me to my knees. I don't think I have ever prayed as much in my life. So many worries are bombarding me and I don't even know how to combat them or which way to turn for help. Each time I try to defend myself, Satan finds a new hole in my armour... an opening... vulnerable to attack. Because of this I am so thankful that the intern's study program begins with the book of Mark and Trusting God by Jerry Bridges. Reading Mark has really shown to me the active, powerful, thrilling nature of Christ. Everywhere you look its action action action!! Jesus is running everywhere, healing and teaching, right and left! Merely reading this gives me strength and confidence because I know that Jesus is doing that right now for me. He is running right and left, healing my wounds and teaching me more about Him and His kingdom. He is combating Satan on every front of this spiritual war ... and winning.

I really appreciate the portion of Mark 11 where Christ withers the fig tree because it has born no fruit but has many leaves. It is putting forth a show of fruitfulness but is truly empty and void of fruit. Sometimes I feel like I'm this tree ... putting on a show of confidence and talking about examples of MY fruit. But through this time of fundraising, God has truly shown me that all of the fruit of His kingdom ... all of the fruit that His people bring forth ... belongs to Him. It is only through Jesus that we have been able to bring forth fruit and it is only through Jesus that I am able to raise this money. It is through this financial fruit that Jesus has brought forth that I will be able to go to Belhaven College and reach and equip students for Christ. I need fear no attack from Satan on any front because I have Jesus and through me He has chosen to bear fruit. Nothing that I have done deserves this honor ... only His amazing grace has made this possible. All you other interns raising your money and feeling like you aren't bearing any fruit... we ARE! Thank God for this awesome opportunity ... to give people the chance to be a part of it. RIGHTEOUS!!!

Remembering and Organization:

It is ridiculous how easily we forget the things that can help us most. I have been trying to trust God's will for my life and at the same time have been trying my utmost to take control of it for myself. I totally lost it this past Sunday and just broke down because I tried to take control and in doing so, completely lost control. Thankfully I have an amazing fiancee who constantly reminds me of God's goodness and grace and I am back on track, living my life day by day and throwing my cares on the Lord.

Recently, I have been making a disciplined effort to become organized to some degree and man, I give all organized people mad props because it is tough! So far I have had minor successes here and there, mainly in the area of writing things down in a planner and doing things right away so I don't have to remember them, haha! But I am really struggling in the prayer and reading area, i.e. keeping up with the study program. I just can't seem to have a scheduled time to read and because of that I am never consistent on a day to day basis. Any tips!? I am really at a loss so far. I just don't see how people can maintain that consistency! Ya'll are keeping a secret from me or something! Hopefully things will improve the more practice I have and the more effort I put into it. Ah well, I think I am going to just go fishing and relax for the evening.

Peace in Preparation

I will start with a disclaimer. I have never been very good at keeping up with journals or blogs. However, I am making a determined effort to become more organized and consistent with all of the above. So here we go into a hopefully crazy awesome time of seeing Christ at work in Jackson, MS.
For this journey to begin there is a lot of money that all of us, interns, are required to raise individually. This is a daunting task that is continually haunting my waking and sleeping hours and hangs over me like a little black raincloud blocking the sunshine. However, I have never been so close to or reliant on Christ as I am now because this task drives me continually to my knees in prayer. There is no way that I will be able to raise this money on my own but only through the grace of God and the never ending love of Jesus. It constantly amazes me how He continually draws us to Himself in times of trial and tribulation. In His arms we find the hope, comfort and confidence necessary to accomplish the moving of mountains. In Him I rest, knowing that if it is His will, I have no need to worry and have the true peace that the Lord gives. "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." - John 14:27