The Fruit of Amazing Grace

As the days pass by and I have more and more conversations with people about college ministry and how God has changed the direction of my life, I keep hearing this nagging voice in the back of my mind. It says, "You aren't worth these people's money. They would never give you this if they knew who you really were. I mean look at you ... you aren't even doing anything but running around and asking people to support you in a place they have never seen, helping students they have never met, and you are going to a CHRISTIAN COLLEGE for goodness sake! They don't need your help! What can you possibly offer them that they haven't already heard before!?".

As I hear this voice and listen to it, I feel like it has a point sometimes. It begins to get to me... it brings me down and takes me to my knees. I don't think I have ever prayed as much in my life. So many worries are bombarding me and I don't even know how to combat them or which way to turn for help. Each time I try to defend myself, Satan finds a new hole in my armour... an opening... vulnerable to attack. Because of this I am so thankful that the intern's study program begins with the book of Mark and Trusting God by Jerry Bridges. Reading Mark has really shown to me the active, powerful, thrilling nature of Christ. Everywhere you look its action action action!! Jesus is running everywhere, healing and teaching, right and left! Merely reading this gives me strength and confidence because I know that Jesus is doing that right now for me. He is running right and left, healing my wounds and teaching me more about Him and His kingdom. He is combating Satan on every front of this spiritual war ... and winning.

I really appreciate the portion of Mark 11 where Christ withers the fig tree because it has born no fruit but has many leaves. It is putting forth a show of fruitfulness but is truly empty and void of fruit. Sometimes I feel like I'm this tree ... putting on a show of confidence and talking about examples of MY fruit. But through this time of fundraising, God has truly shown me that all of the fruit of His kingdom ... all of the fruit that His people bring forth ... belongs to Him. It is only through Jesus that we have been able to bring forth fruit and it is only through Jesus that I am able to raise this money. It is through this financial fruit that Jesus has brought forth that I will be able to go to Belhaven College and reach and equip students for Christ. I need fear no attack from Satan on any front because I have Jesus and through me He has chosen to bear fruit. Nothing that I have done deserves this honor ... only His amazing grace has made this possible. All you other interns raising your money and feeling like you aren't bearing any fruit... we ARE! Thank God for this awesome opportunity ... to give people the chance to be a part of it. RIGHTEOUS!!!